30 January, 2013
On this anniversary day I find myself considering anew the
reflection I wrote last year about the importance of my ring and cross… It is
still a valid reflection, and yet as time passes and as things go, there are new feelings and nuances I notice…
The covenant they represent has become ever more alive with
experience…as though the bond is both loose enough and strong enough to accept
the contours of my experience, incorporating them into its embrace and taking
on new characteristics… This relationship is created to grow, to shift, to take
on new shapes, new colors, shimmers, and bends…
In that way, my ring has become something less of an
external symbol, though it obviously remains as one…it and what it represents
have become a part of me in ways I didn’t ever imagine it could or that anything
ever would… There is a smooth stillness to it…and
that stillness settles deep within me, steadying and warming my center,
blooming and rising again and again and again as the love of God that motivates
and consoles me, challenges and invites me.
There is a strength to its wholeness, to its edge-less-ness…that is a
strength I walk with, that I try to share and live from…but its strength, while
undeniable, is not a harsh or brute force…rather it is more of a solidity, a
groundedness…and it is tender, and vulnerable in its own way…
The covenant is also embracing, as the ring embraces my
finger…reminding me of the goodness of touch, of being held in so many
different ways… held in God’s love, held in the arms of a friend, holding the
hand of a child, being held in buoying laughter, held in the heart of someone
who cares, held in the listening of someone who understands… and it speaks to
me of the grace of holding others, too…of how many people fill my heart, dance
with my spirit…how many people I surround and who surround me… the cloud of “firefly saints” who light my
hills with their glory, who surprise me in wonder…
Now more than ever I am aware of how these things, these
gifts, markers, graces, are alive in me…with me…not external or internal…not
here or there…or now and then…but YES.
And that YES is in the cross…it is a yes to community and
freedom, to challenge and giving, to loving and releasing and seeking and teaching
and noticing, touching…the human and the divine within me, within creation…A
YES to the open heart, a heart that gives and receives and lives and moves and
has wondrous, mysterious, being… and to which I have given my YES…
My yes that grows and changes and deepens and takes on the
shape of my experiences…my yes that is loose and strong and embracing and ever
growing into a fullness of Becoming.
On this anniversary day I am grateful for the journey and
wonder at what will come…knowing that light and love will be a part of it all
as it has been, since the first invitation to recognize God deep down
things.
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